On this page I have listed resources and information on subjects that include:

Creating a Satisfying Life; Depression and Anxiety: Recovery and Prevention

There is a reason why many people who suffer from low mood, with occasional hopelessness and negative thinking, say things like: I’m in the pit; I’m in the tunnel; or, I’m spiraling down.

It is because, though they may not realize it, their thoughts take them places that make them feel worse and worse. When we ask people to describe what’s going on, they can easily say how they feel, but often are unaware of what they are thinking. More importantly, they are surprised to learn that their thoughts, even though they may not be aware of them, are directly connected to how they feel.

There have been many studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for the treatment of depression and anxiety. In recent years there is increasing evidence that awareness, which includes Mindfulness, combined with Cognitive Behavioral approaches, shows positive outcomes in reducing depression and symptoms of anxiety.

Links and articles

This link describes Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy (CBT) clearly and simply. www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm.

This well-laid out article, Cognitive Therapy: In-Depth Cognitive Therapy, by Ben Martin, Ph.D. explains in layman’s language, the way this approach (well-documented for its effectiveness) works to improve mood and to reduce anxiety. Case examples included. psychcentral.com/lib/2007/in-depth-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/all/1/

The article mentioned below, Cognitive Therapy for Depression both describes Cognitive Therapy for treating Depression in easy to understand terms, and presents a scholarly report on studies that confirm its effectiveness (references and sources are listed).

Cognitive Therapy for Depression, by STUART J. RUPKE, M.D., DAVID BLECKE, M.DIV., M.S.W., and MARJORIE RENFROW, M.D., Michigan State University College of Human Medicine, East Lansing, Michigan. Am Fam Physician, 2006Jan 1;73(1):83-86. www.aafp.org/afp/2006/0101/p83.html

This article includes Mindfulness in its discussion of CBT. A Scholarly Article on Mindfulness-Based, Cognitive Therapy for Depression, by S. Helen Ma and John D. Teasdale with the following in the Conclusion:

“The present study provided further evidence that MBCT is a cost-efficient and efficacious intervention to reduce relapse/recurrence in patients with recurrent major depressive disorder who, following a reportedly adverse childhood, have experienced three or more previous episodes of depression, the first of which was relatively early in their lives.” ftp://cs.ru.nl/pub/CompMath.Found/teasdale.pdf

Mindfulness for Beginners, CD, by Jon Kabat-Zinn, is a good, first exposure to this method of clearing the mind, becoming more aware, and embarking on living life with less stress, no matter what the circumstances. www.amazon.com

Books

The How of Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D – This is not the usual self-help, cure-all kind of book, but is rather a concise compilation of well-researched information on what makes a happy life, by those who describe their lives that way; it includes what they do that helps them to feel that way. chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/

Mind Over Mood, by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky, lays out the direct connection between how we think and how we feel, and shows not only how to become aware of our thoughts, but also how to change/ improve our anxious or depressive moods/ feelings so that we feel better. A very good book (workbook) on the how-tos of Cognitive Therapy and role of action (behavior) in improving mood. www.mindovermood.com

Depression is Contagious, by Michael Yapko, Ph.D., takes on the notion that feeling better is more than about taking pills or medication. He makes the case (citing evidence) that good relationships and social support can have a powerful effect, not only on improving low mood, but also on preventing its onset. www.yapko.com

Hand Me Down Blues, by Michael Yapko, Ph.D., clearly describes the way families play an important role in the emotional health of their members. An empowering, small book for parents who want to ‘inoculate’ their children against depression, or who want to help themselves or their children recover from depression. www.yapko.com

Calm Down, Set of 4CDs and MP3, by Michael Yapko, Ph.D. –This self-help program is an intelligent and practical approach to reducing and preventing anxiety and its symptoms: repetitive worrying, panicky feelings, asking endless ‘what ifs?’, feeling overwhelmed, avoiding situations/ obligations, sleep difficulties, and more. He explains step-by-step, how people actually generate anxiety. Correspondingly, he explains, step-by-step, how to reduce it. Included are structured relaxation/ focusing sessions that help the listener retain what is being learned, and make it easier to apply the learned skills in real-life situations. www.yapko.com

Relationships, Affairs, Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Information and books

Creating Relationships That Last: A Conversation with Dr. Susan Johnson – A DVD with Dr. Johnson speaking about what we now know, scientifically, about helping people create, nurture, and protect our most precious relationships. www.amazon.com

Hold Me Tight, by Susan Johnson, Ph.D. – This book gives readers reasonable and common-sense suggestions to improve their relationships. It guides couples in how to talk with each other in ways that not only promote intimacy, but also protect them from the angry and blaming interchanges so common in distressed couples. She structures the material using seven kinds of conversations couples can use both to increase trust and to strengthen their bond. www.holdmetight.com

Straight Talk About Betrayal: A Self Help Guide for Couples, by Donna Bellafiore www.drbalternatives.com

This is a short and straightforward book for couples who are in the initial phase of coming to terms with the trauma of an extramarital affair. It is not complex or overly psychological, but is empathic in its description of how the affair and its disclosure affects both parties. This book does not presume that the person who had the affair is a man.

It outlines a sequential process of recovery, and offers suggestions/guidelines for the healing to begin. Ms. Bellafiore includes a set of questions that help readers explore and reflect on their feelings and on the relationship. Sharing their answers with each other may serve as a starting point for a couple to decide how they want to move forward.

Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage, by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter T. Pearson www.couplesinstitute.com

Husband and wife psychologists describe the hopeful possibilities for couples who can learn to speak openly to each other. These possibilities include having a healthier, more exciting and trusting relationship.

Partners often think that it’s best to tell white lies to avoid hurting the other. The authors present the ways that lies, at each of the 4 stages of marriage (their framework), can take their relationship down a perilous path.

The authors use their own marriage to illustrate their message and make it clear that the decisions partners make either enhance or diminish the quality and stability of their relationship.

Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness: Couples Speak out on Healing from Sex Addiction, by Jennifer Scheider, M.D. This book is in its third edition and has been expanded to includes compulsive cybersex and issues related to disclosing sexual addiction. Dr. Schneider is a researcher who writes well for the public. www.jenniferschneider.com

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, by Patrick Carnes is one of the first books for the layperson covering this topic. He also has written other, more recent books on the subject. www.amazon.com; www.barnesandnoble.com

The following information includes local and national resources and support groups for:

If you are struggling with drinking or using drugs

If you care about someone’s drinking or drug use

Meeting locations of are on most of the websites.

Mental Health

The National Institute on Mental Health - NIMH www.nimh.nih.gov
When you understand someone, it’s harder to judge them.

“The mission of NIMH is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.

“The Institute is the largest research organization in the world dedicated to greater understanding of mental illness.” It is estimated that 25% of those living in the United States will experience a mental health problem this year. Many other experts in the field of Mental Health say the percentage is much higher.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI www.nami.org
Help yourself and your loved one. NAMI supports family members and friends of people living with a mental illness. There are local chapters that offer information and support groups for loved ones and they are on the listed on the website. NAMI has good, up-to-the-minute information about mental illness, and the kinds of challenges family members encounter. You can learn what mental illness is NOT, as well as the many faces of mental illness.

If you are feeling isolated and alone because you are the only one in your family who is dealing with the ill family member, this is the organization that can help you. Support is available from mental-health educators and among other family members. In New York City there are informational meetings and support groups in your area. www.naminycmetro.org/ E-mail:helpline@naminyc.org Phone: 212.684.3264 Mon.-Thurs.: 12:00-7:00 p.m. Fri.: 12:00 - 6:00 p.m.

Recovery International (previously Recovery, Inc.)
This organization and its support groups are a self-help support for people who struggle with a mental health issue. It is an approach to managing moods, behavior, and attitudes (outlook) based on scientifically validated studies. “The Recovery International Method is a system of cognitive-behavioral self-help techniques for controlling behavior and changing attitudes. People who practice the living skills detailed in the Recovery International Method learn to change their thoughts and behaviors; changes in attitudes and beliefs follow.

“Although many people solely use the Recovery International Method for their needs, it is not intended as a substitute for professional care, but rather as an adjunct to it. The system and meetings offer the training and advice necessary for applying the Recovery International Method to everyday life.” Professor of Psychiatry, Abraham Low, MD, a Neuropsychiatrist at the University of Illinois, developed these self-help techniques that include Cognitive and Behavioral tools. You can find local groups and information on their website. They also have telephone meetings and online chat. A Spanish-speaking video is on the website and information is available in Spanish. The site has information for family members. www.lowselfhelpsystems.org/

Sexual Compulsivity: “Sex Addiction” “Sex and Love Addiction”

The following resources not only provide information regarding sexual behaviors that may be interfering with your life, but also offer support groups to stop the behaviors. Many experts suggest that these groups are an adjunct to getting professional help.

Each of the organizations listed below (with links) emphasizes different elements of “recovery” from compulsive behaviors. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous also addresses the intense infatuation elements that are common to many who engage in these compulsive behaviors.

The last resource listed, COSA is, “…for men and women whose lives have been affected by another person's compulsive sexual behavior.” New York City has only one meeting at this time, though you can find information on the website.

Two books on this subject can be found on this resource page under Relationships, though there are many available that are not specific to relationships. Jennifer Schneider, M.D., a well-respected researcher and writer, and Patrick Carnes, PhD. a writer and clinician, have published several books on this subject for the general public.

For loved ones affected by another’s compulsive sexual behavior