About Couples / Marriage Counseling / Therapy
I will help you and your partner to identify and clarify the issues, and to develop a plan that addresses each problem step-by-step, a plan that supports you in creating the kind of relationship you want.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the problems are, if they’ve been there for a while, if the relationship is basically good, or if something has just come up. You may simply need someone to help you sort it out and decide on the direction you want to take.
Consulting with a relationship professional, whose training and expertise can help you and your partner resolve relational problems, is a wise step to take, especially if your relationship is at stake or if you are in a crisis.
I will help you make the most important decision - To create solutions. You will have a neutral place to express yourselves, to be heard, and ultimately to develop key relationship skills that will help you now and in the future.
I will gently guide you through any anger, pain or disappointment so that we spend most of our time building a relational framework and environment that is loving, stimulating and able to thrive no matter what comes your way.
No matter how pessimistic you may find yourself, you will notice that consulting with a professional will help you and your partner focus on the goals you set and the means to achieve them. Even the smallest steps you take can lead to rebuilding trust and re-creating the intimacy you once shared.
In the future, when you look back it may be hard to believe that you once saw only two equally painful options - sticking it out or calling it quits.
I want to guide you and your partner in developing a bond that is even stronger and more nurturing than it was when you started out.
How We Begin and Will Work Together
During our first meeting, I like to learn as much as I can about you and your partner; what drew you together, what still works well, and what you currently identify as the barriers to enjoying each other. Other things I find helpful to know are the values, cultures and attitudes about relationships that were passed on to your from your families.
What I Do - For Your Relationship
I will share with you the all information I have. You will know what is important to make a relationship work and how to do it.
I will provide you with opportunities to try out, refine and master essential relationship skills. Mastery will empower you, help you relax, and most importantly, will allow you to feel hopeful again.
My goal is to:
- Help you identify and develop patterns that build trust, that nurture each other’s personal growth, and that solidify the relationship
- Provide a learning environment
- Provide reinforcement for interactions that support your goals
- Encourage and serve as your coach in identifying and eliminating destructive patterns of relating that block you from achieving your goals
- Give non-judgmental feedback for interactions that do not support your goals
- Offer constructive options for responding and for communicating your needs and opinions - ones that do not distance you or your partner or set the relationship back
- Teach essential listening skills that allow each person to feel understood
- Give you specific tools to manage emotional flare-ups that in the past fueled negative and destructive interactions
- Provide you with assignments to practice in the time between sessions. These will move you along more quickly, and will make our sessions together more productive.
Even if your partner is not open to couples therapy, you can the get the help you need for the pain the relationship is causing you, and at the same time increase the chances that he or she will join you later on.
If you have tried couples counseling before, I see that as a good sign. You have not given up.
Whatever pain, fear or concerns you have in your relationship, getting professional help now can be one of the most important decisions you make.
If anything I’ve said here makes sense or has meaning for you, I am easily reached by phone or email on my Contact page.
About Individual Therapy
I am equally comfortable in my practice, doing what is commonly referred to as Brief or Solution-Focused Therapy, and in doing Long-Term therapy.
Brief / Solution-Focused Therapy would include:
- Focusing on achieving your goals and on the future
- Empowering you by helping you identify and develop abilities and skills you already have
- Identifying patterns of thinking and behavior that undermine
- your goals
- Learning new patterns of thinking and behavior that help you achieve your goals
- Practicing and doing assignments in between sessions helps:
- Solidify what’s been learned - Make sessions more productive - Move you along more quickly.
Long- Term Therapy would include:
- Analyzing and developing insights as the basis for change
- Exploring your personal history and the influences of early family relationships on your life now
- An understanding that traumatic experiences or early betrayals of trust you may have suffered require a particular kind of gentleness
- Typically, a longer time-frame to work through issues.
